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Choosing Acceptance Not Anger Or Resentment

Yesterday, I read a post “Happiness Is A Choice” by my good “virtual” friend, fellow writer and horseman Chuck Bartok. It’s a good read and it prompted me to think about other states of mind we can choose to adopt. I have had to face many challenges in my life. Over the years I have learned the art of discernment, recognise the challenges I can do something about and those beyond my power to influence. Chuck’s post reminded me of a recent situation when I could have reacted with anger but I chose acceptance – and relief.

Two weeks ago, the wheels fell off my tractor, literally.

In the summer of last year (2023) I did a long overdue replacement of bushes and a pin on the front axle of my old John Deere 1830. 50 years of wear had made the steering so bad that I could not drive in top gear on the road without uncontrollably swerving into the ditch. It made lining up the tractor to hitch the forks, bucket or a rear-mounted implement extremely frustrating.

It was a difficult job to do without access to a well-equipped workshop and lifting equipment. The parts were heavy and I had no one to help me. At 73, I am still reasonably strong and fit, but not as strong as I was 30 years ago.

Fortunately, my experiences in Rhodesia and South Africa when we often had to undertake difficult repairs ourselves helped me. With a few improvisations, bits of rope and levers, I got the job done without hurting myself.

The very wet late winter and early spring prevented me from getting through the field to the bush where I cut and haul trees to cut and split for heating our house next winter.

Hauling Logs

In mid-March, the weather dried up enough for me to spend two weekends hauling fallen dead Ash trees out of the bush cutting them into 20′ lengths and stacking them in the field.

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Wagonload of logs

Two weeks ago, I borrowed a large bale wagon from a neighbouring farm and spent Saturday loading, hauling and unloading logs in the yard.

After church on Sunday, I went for the last load. As I was loading the last few logs, I heard a slight knocking sound from the front of the tractor when I shifted from reverse to forward. It’s an old tractor, it makes lots of metallic noises. I should have checked it, but I didn’t.

As I was offloading the last log in the yard, I felt the front of the tractor drop and saw the front wheels at a very strange angle.

The front axle assembly had come off its locating pin and bent the front locating bolt and the steering arm.

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All the backward and forward movement with heavy logs on the front loader forks had nudged a $10.00 snap ring or circlip out of its groove on the pin and worked the pin forward. Eventually, it had come out of the axle assembly allowing it to drop down and bend the bolt.

I bought the replacement bush and bolt, but it has been too wet to finish putting the tractor back together. That will be tomorrow’s job – if the rain holds off.

What has this story got to do with Choosing Acceptance?

The pin could have come out on the busy road I travelled to collect the wagon. That could have caused an accident perhaps with another vehicle and injuries involved. At best it could have resulted in an expensive recovery charge.

It could have come out at the bottom of the field hundreds of metres from my tool shed, electricity and my house.

A few weeks earlier I had been moving logs from neighbours, it could have come out on the road or in his field.

Instead thanks to God, it came out in my yard, within easy reach of my tools, with access to electricity and in a place where the tractor is safe from vandalism or theft of parts. There were cut logs of the right length readily available to use as blocks to support the tractor.

I had cleared the field before it needed to be prepared for this season’s crops.

It will be a long and difficult day to finish the repair job tomorrow, I choose acceptance, not anger or resentment.

It could have been a lot worse.

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